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[ Drat, he wanted someone to give a tour to, but instead it's another would-be museum curator. You'll be Red-Eyes, dear Kashuu. Not that's he's any good either, but with everyone doing tasks, actual people to give a tour to are few and far in-between. He could be one, but he'd get bored fast? Shit like this makes you zone out. ]

...Take it.

[ It's a mic headset with what looks like the plainest mp3 player to ever exist in this century. Koga's got one too and his ends up looking like a silly headband that's just barely able to keep back his mop of fluffy hair. ]

These are gonna be recording us for audio tours. That way, we can pretend eachother's the visitor or some crap like that... This looks boring, let's only suffer through it once.

[ Helping, in other words! ]

[A BRILLIANT PLAN. He takes the mic headset and plainass mp3 player without fuss, trying to settle the band over his hair in a way that won't mess it up... despite the fact that there are like, zero people here to notice a few stray bits sticking out here or there. He's nothing if not dedicated, okay.]

Hah, you won't hear me complaining about that.

[Only going through it once, that is. He'll complain about everything else to make up for it!]

I guess we can just alternate from exhibit to exhibit? This stupid thing is only gonna be here for another week anyway, so I reeeally doubt anyone's gonna actually listen unless Zee adds "die of boredom" to the list or something.

[ koga roll his eyes a little at the hair fussing-- dude it's just him, it looks fine... but anyway, that works for him. ]

Yeah. We might as well be the best damn tour guides, 'cuz who'd pay money to see something like this?

[ The logical answer is "kids on fields trips" for history class or ultra nerds who want to be uptight butts about accuracy, but anyway. NOONE'S HERE, KOGA'S RUNNING OFF TO THE HAY BALES. ]

I'm not gonna die of boredome before that hack puts it on the list. Dibs on the thing I can recognize first!

[ Order, what order? ]

[IT'S NEVER "JUST ONE PERSON" he's constantly on guard against flyaways okay constantly...

But either way, Koga can have all the hay bales he wants! Kashuu's just going to mosey on along after him at a much more leisurely pace, peeking into a few of the other exhibits as they go. Who even does unsupervised candlemaking?? They're going to die for sure.]

What's even the point of this stuff? Was this supposed to be like, medieval entertainment or something?

[THOSE DATES ARE A LITTLE OFF but look, anything earlier than twenty years ago is ancient history in equal measures.]

[ Look he can pretend he's taller like this! He's also got on boots so it's not like hopping or climbing around will get uncomfortable hay bits stuch in his shoes, Ow. ]

Well they didn't have TV or phones... Maybe they'd watch plants grow and find that fun?

[ They also didn't have Am*zon so stuff had to made if they wanted it or something. No grocery stores either. God the face Koga has is telling he's getting a little bored thinking about what past peoples did... Anyway, time to act like a tour guide. ]

"Hay can be fed to animals dried, so it's handy for colonial people to keep 'em bundled like this. Farm animals will eat your crops and shoes, otherwise if you don't got any on hand." Your turn, Ruby.

[ Fingerguns! ]

[Enjoy your new boots to the sky in the form of hay bales, new friend. Kashuu - a proud supporter of "heels so you can rise to the skies" - will certainly not judge.

THAT SAID, RUBY... He can't say he dislikes it, honestly.]

"People also used dried hay for entertainment! Watching it dry out was basically the biggest hit all summer and people would take the first dried batches and make straw dolls and stuff out of it. Sometimes people who made too many would be accused of witchcraft though, so you had to be reaaally careful."

[A pause after he switches the recording feature off.]

...I mean, no one said it had to be an accurate tour.

[ Look them red eyes stand out? Kashuu probably has at least one (1) red accessory or article of clothing on his person, and if not they really stand out?

Anyway Koga has to turn off his recorder to snicker. He hops off the bales, making his way to the next exhibit. ]

More like you gave up... But you're right, and I don't really give a shit about this stuff.

[ He turns on the recording feature, making a wide gesture at the candle making table. ]

Uh... for some reason, it never caught on that witches actually liked making candles more than voodoo dolls. They always won these candle-making competitions but silly colonials never caught on. I guess that was another pastime to fight off boredom?

[ there's a cute stuffed bee on the table, probably to denote the part about beeswax being used. Tallow from animal fat was more common for them though, according to a small placard... gross. Anyway, Koga's gonna treat Bumble here like a volleyball. Incoming, Kashuu! ]

[HE DEFINITELY IS red and black never go out of style in Kashuutown, even with summer creeping in... When you're a designer, you make your own seasonal rules, clearly.]

You say give up, I say exercising my creativity. Same thing, yeah?

[NO, NOT YEAH. But he'll shuffle on after Koga as he goes over toward their new home in candle hell, listening with obvious amusement as their weird tale about witches and voodoo continues to grow and morph into something even weirder.]

Ooh, don't forget this part! [Which he'll helpfully record:] They say that every time a non-witch won a candle-making competition, they'd mysteriously vanish the next day and all of the candles they made before then would become cursed. Like, touch 'em and all your hair would fall out!

[A TRUE CURSE.

Just like this poor bee mascot is cursed, since Kashuu's quick to whack it right back. Good bye, Mr. Bee.]

[ okay so it works as a nickname, good. ALSO GOODBYE MR. BUMBLEBEE, he's getting spiked into a basket. ]

Man, witches were petty. I bet they turned them into... hm, small animals? Like rodents or frogs. They ribbit and croak all night that they won fair and square. Also, they're bald too.

[ THAT IS CLEARLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS TALE: BALDNESS. Honestly for two young guys that really is the worst fate? Moving on though, would be... butter churners. Koga tries moving one, but it seems they made the prop...really heavy? Or like, out of actual solid wood. Wow, he kicks it a little in annoyance. ]

At least the wicked were never good at making butter! ...Hey, you come up with a reason, I just think they'd want to live healthy with their frog soup.

[MR. BUMBLEBEE NO... Such a short-lived, tragic life.]

Yep, yep, and yep. [These witches are clearly truly dastardly, especially with that baldness. If they had an alignment, they would definitely be chaotic evil.

In any case, he trails along after Koga and grins a little at his failed attempt to be a butter-churning Puritan.]

Obviously they sucked at making butter 'cause only the pure of heart could even get the stick thing to move. It's like Excalibur, you know? But instead of becoming the kind of England, you just got to make super tasty fresh toppings for your Eggos.

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